we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
