dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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