You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
