Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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