Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize