The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
