Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I pour the whiskey from now on
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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