Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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