he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
