it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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