Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
