i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
