you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
