Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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