The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
