i barfeds in our rink
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.