Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"