Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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  (847): Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test http://tfl.nu/tst5
  Replies (13) Good night (3125) Bad night (483)
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  (951): View more from California

  hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.

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  (951): hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit. http://tfl.nu/lqvy
  Replies (22) Good night (4238) Bad night (1512)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

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  (732): and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening http://tfl.nu/8ijj
  Replies (17) Good night (1560) Bad night (4871)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

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  (843): At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump http://tfl.nu/qbro
  Replies (23) Good night (721) Bad night (4501)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out

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  (267): Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out http://tfl.nu/835w
  Replies (14) Good night (4931) Bad night (1437)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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  (630): I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ha0p
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (1112)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.

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  (513): I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star. http://tfl.nu/6ohf
  Replies (19) Good night (5505) Bad night (1128)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?

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  (732): WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"? http://tfl.nu/186c
  Replies (4) Good night (1641) Bad night (690)
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  (805): View more from California

  I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

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  (805): I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax. http://tfl.nu/bw4v
  Replies (8) Good night (1004) Bad night (1832)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.

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  (573): You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field. http://tfl.nu/swf8
  Replies (7) Good night (1939) Bad night (914)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.

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  (937): They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed. http://tfl.nu/xvv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1095) Bad night (422)
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  (415): View more from California

  Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.

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  (415): Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week. http://tfl.nu/dhvq
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (253)
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  (661): View more from California

  Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?

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  (661): Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45? http://tfl.nu/7eh6
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (295)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again

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  (850): If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again http://tfl.nu/wd88
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (262)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.

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  (469): I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray. http://tfl.nu/wtqa
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (215)

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