things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.