im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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