If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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