Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
