she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
