Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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