im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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