i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
