wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
please don't ironically join a cult
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