ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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