he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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