He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
