Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
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she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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