Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize