just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
