Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
