woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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