i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
