I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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