the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize