Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
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Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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