Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
