Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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