someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
