Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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