I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
