If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
