at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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