Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
