oh god the rape fog is back!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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