I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
