erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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