4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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