a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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