i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
