took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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