i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
