Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
