Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
