Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
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I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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