would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
