Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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