It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize