I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
