Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
