the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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